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It is officially my favorite season of the year! I love nearly everything about autumn: sweaters, pies, heartier beer, changing leaves, knitting, long pants, apples, apple-picking, and the cool chill of evening that feels just right with a cup of tea.

This week, my good friend taught me how to knit “in the round,” so I’ve been making myself a hat with some yarn I’ve been saving! Here’s what I’ve been doing all day (besides being thankful to be at the front desk at work, and not doing my actual job):

knitting and tea. good work day.

As dreary as it is today, I look forward to the days with crisp air and clear skies and changing leaves. I think most people see autumn as dreary and as being the beginning of the dying of the year, but I find a freshness and newness each autumn. Having begun something new each fall for the last 15 years (school, new job, new apartment), it’s hard for me not to feel expectant as the air starts to chill. This year I did get a new apartment, and with that, a new community. A small one of two other girls also living in the apartment, a slightly larger one in the “compound,” and an even larger one in the Neighborhood of the Arts. As I enter this season, I look forward to marking the first year with the one I love, to traveling to see family for holidays, to settling into (and finally unpacking!) the apartment, and to seeking after God and His purpose in my life, which is sometimes a nebulous thing, with a hopefully renewed fervor.

To newness.

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There is a kind of pretty that a woman is around midnight,

standing in her bathroom,

staring into the mirror under a garish light.

Mascara and foundation freshly removed,

all flaws in her skin have been catalogued, appreciated, and forgotten.

Her hair,

once meticulously tucked back,

has now the cares of the day woven in as well,

and they have blown strands into the cool night breeze.

Tiny curls reminiscent of baby pictures frame her ears.

I am pretty, she remembers.

No makeup.

No bra.

No audience.

Just pajamas and bare feet and the smell of hot tea and toothpaste.

Just her and the mirror.

Sometimes singing, maybe silent.

There is a kind of pretty that a woman is around midnight,

and no one can see it but her.


~ahj

“Autumn” by Rainer Maria Rilke:

The leaves are falling, falling as if from far up,
as if orchards were dying high in space.
Each leaf falls as if it were motioning “no.”

And tonight the heavy earth is falling
away from all other stars in the loneliness.

We’re all falling. This hand here is falling.
And look at the other one. It’s in them all.

And yet there is Someone, whose hands
infinitely calm, holding up all this falling.

“Autumn Day” by Rilke as well:

Lord: it is time. The summer was immense.
Lay your shadow on the sundials
and let loose the wind in the fields.

Bid the last fruits to be full;
give them another two more southerly days,
press them to ripeness, and chase
the last sweetness into the heavy wine.

Whoever has no house now will not build one
anymore.
Whoever is alone now will remain so for a long
time,
will stay up, read, write long letters,
and wander the avenues, up and down,
restlessly, while the leaves are blowing.

So glad there is someone holding up all this falling.

Hello friends! Allow me to apologize for dropping off the face of the earth…it’s been a busy couple weeks, er, months.

Obligatory bloggy apology: check.

Here’s a little run-down of what I’ve been up to the past month and a half: I turned 23, took a roadtrip to Middleofnowhere, Ohio to go to (read: work at) summer camp for a week, came home to a surprise party, packed up my old apartment, moved it all into my poor boyfriend’s living room for the weekend, moved all my stuff again into my own apartment across the yard from him, painted said apartment, and since then have been trying to find a few minutes to continue to put my life away again.

Yikes-a-mo-mikes-a, as a friend of my brother’s used to say. You know, when they were 3.

Life is freaking crazy, and I’m sure only about to get crazier. I have decided to quit the evil restaurant before Thanksgiving, because my car will probably die soon, and also because the new manager there doesn’t like the idea of anyone taking off for any holidays.

Oh, I’m sorry, sir, I’ll just spend Thanksgiving and Christmas by myself here then, shall I? So kind of you. Thanks.

So that’s one less stress, and one more, I suppose. Less stress in that I’ll finally have (a little) more time, and one more because I’ll be making (a lot) less money per week and not having access to cash as easily (which could be good, I suppose). Oh money. Eff you.

What was this post going to be about? I suppose I have nothing of dire import to share; I’ve just been thinking about my poor, neglected blog, and like the 20-something-girl that I am, decided to update it and let my two readers know what’s going on with me.

I’ll be back soon with some meatier words.

Peace.