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Welcome to a new segment of this blog called “Get it, Got it, Good.” If you don’t know me, you may not know that I am sometimes snarky and/or, well, bitchy. I have remained well-mannered until now, but sometimes you just need to know. Expect other articles to follow on tipping etiquette, ticket-buying etiquette, etc. 

People who are allowed to call me “honey”:

1. Elliot

2. My mom, dad, grandparents

3. Sweet old ladies

4. Very cute old men

People who are not allowed to call me “honey”:

1. Any man who is not my father, my boyfriend, or well-meaning and geriatric. If you are some thirty-something a-hole, keep quiet. If you are fifty-something and creepy, shut it.

2. Condescending older ladies. “Look, honey, blah blah blah…”

I often contemplate these rules in my every-day contact with the general public. I had a very sweet old lady today call me “honey” on the phone, and it genuinely made me smile. The way she said it let me know that she really appreciated the information I had to share with her. 

Last weekend, a friend had parked his car in the wrong spot, and while informing the neighbor we would move it, was dismissed by said neighbor and called “honey,” which immediately put me on the defense. 

Anyway, now you know.